September

Although it is not technically fall yet, I feel like the baby's season has arrived. Driving home from work today the streets of Alameda were full of crunchy, brown leaves and they were blowing all over the place. It hasn't gotten cold, but the nighttime fog has been leaving a chill in the air in the mornings, the days are starting to seem shorter, and the air is starting to smell like autumn. The birthing season has arrived.

I never thought I would think of fall as a season for birth -- I've always associated that with spring. But we found out about this pregnancy in the spring, and have looked forward to fall ever since with a sense of regeneration that I've never associated with fall. Now that the signs of season change are starting, and my belly is getting bigger, and the baby kicks grow stronger I am getting happier and more excited by the day.

I've written a lot about the toll pregnancy has taken on me, but I don't think I've written much about how it has felt to emerge from that state. Simply put, it has felt great! I've been surprised by how wonderful it feels to be pregnant, when the good stuff isn't obfuscated by sickness. The constant quickening and movement within has been startling and beautiful. Sometimes I am enveloped in a peacefulness that is very unfamiliar, yet so natural all at once. I get blindsided at times by rushes of love and gratitude for what is happening right now, love and gratitude for all the wonderful people in my life, love and gratitude for the fact that I am so lucky to have so much love in my life. All in all, it is a beautiful time, and despite the rough patch getting to this point, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.