Well, over here we can't believe we've made it through the first few weeks. We got through the first two weeks, which so many people had warned us would really be the worst, and things did start to get easier and more predictable. I'm still having trouble finding time for myself (hence me sitting here posting to the blog at 4 in the morning while the baby is sleeping --- and I should be sleeping too!!), but the trade off has been worth it for now and I am sure I'll be able to strike a balance one of these days. I've been feeling guilty because I haven't managed to make time to write and send thank you notes to all those wonderful people who have given us things for Hank, and have done so much to help us get through these first few weeks. Hopefully in the next couple of days I can manage to get started on that. Hank still sleeps a lot, and I'm getting more comfortable wearing him in a sling/pouch contraption, which frees my hands up for other things -- like writing thank you notes!
I've truly been overwhelmed by people's generosity and their desire to help and support us these days. It has actually really touched me deeply and I've been so grateful. This can be a really difficult time, sometimes feeling lonely, and it has helped so much to have people drop by with meals or just to say hello. I really don't know what we would do without my parents these days. Last weekend I actually spent a night in the emergency room, and Hank spent the night with my parents. We were really lucky to have them here, and although it was so sad for me to spend a night away from my baby, I knew he was safe and in good hands with my mom and dad. We've spent a couple more nights at their house since then, and those nights have been really restorative and restful for me and for Henry. Hank sleeps in the Pack N Play in my parents' room, and my mom brings him to me for night feedings, and helps out with the bottle and changing him. It has been good for me to spend the time there, and Hank has been having fun with his Grandma and Grandpa.
The emergency room, you say? Why yes... Last weekend I was experiencing excruciating back and abdominal pain, and when I started vomiting we decided something was really amiss. So Henry took me to the emergency room where they kept me all night long as they did some ultrasounds which ultimately revealed gallstones. I was much more upset about having to leave Hank for a night than I was about having gall stones! It actually really broke my heart. I knew he was in good hands, but I certainly had never imagined that my son would spend his first night away from me at only 2 1/2 weeks old. He did beautifully, though, and as for me, no surgery is necessary at this time. I'm modifying my diet a bit, and doing some investigation into whether the gall bladder problem played any role in how sick I was during the pregnancy. If I find out there is any link, I will schedule the surgery and make sure it is done before we try to have another child.
In Hank's world, he's just been getting bigger and bigger. The initial problems he had with losing weight have been reversed -- this week at his check up he had gained all the weight he'd lost back, and then some. I am sure by now he is over ten pounds. He's just getting bigger and bigger. I look at him often and think to myself, 'soak this in, Sara, because he's never going to be this tiny again.' I noticed in the last couple of days that his nose and his chin have both grown and are no longer the teeny tiny nose and chin I gave birth to. He's also starting to develop and show signs of becoming a full fledged human being someday. Two days ago he started to figure out that his hands are in fact HIS HANDS and that he can use them -- for example he actually pressed a pacifier against his mouth to keep it from falling out, and he grabs on to things (mostly our fingers) and holds on as if for dear life. He also follows things with his eyes from one place to another now -- things like his little toy elephant that jingles when you shake it, and a set of big plastic keys. My very favorite thing he's done lately though was to smile at me when I came to get him yesterday morning. He actually, truly, looked happy to see me. It just warmed my heart.
Breastfeeding remains a big challenge, but we are doing the best we can. I'm taking fenugreek and reglan and drinking mother's milk tea and pumping a few times a day. It seems that I'm making more milk, but Hank is still a sort of lazy sucker. He latches on like a champ (and actually reminds me of a little prizefighter entering the ring when he gets ready to latch on), but he gives up sucking after only a few minutes, so we are still having to supplement him. We are seeing an ear/nose/throat doctor on monday to evaluate his tongue tie. What we've been told so far is that he is borderline, and this could be impacting both his ability to feed off the breast efficiently, as well as my supply. Clipping his frenullum would go a long way towards solving the problem for both of us, and apparently is really easy on the baby. So we'll see.
I've got to start taking more pictures and video of Hank. Henry takes a lot of photos, so we do have the beginnings of a pretty good archive. He just changes so much, so quickly, every day --sometimes even within the same day he's changed and grown. It is amazing to watch this happen right in front of my eyes. We are so lucky.
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