Thursday, November 29, 2007

On Not Being Pregnant Any More

Now, I am not saying I miss being pregnant. Do not misunderstand! I am so glad I am not pregnant any more it isn't even funny. But I've been surprised by how quickly it all was over. Does this make sense? I spent weeks and months becoming more and more pregnant, and then all of a sudden it was over, and that has been kind of weird. Even though as an experience I didn't enjoy it very much, I was surprised after the fact to find how much of my identity had become about 'being pregnant' during that time, and how abrupt the shift to post partum has been. The physical sensations of being pregnant ended so abruptly -- the nausea was gone, the acid reflux over, the sciatica, the aches and pains, the belly itself. The only physical symptom that lingered was swollen feet and ankles, but a few days ago I noticed that my normal feet were back. Hooray! I missed my feet! Another thing that didn't go away quickly was the emotional stuff -- I've still cried a lot post partum, but that has more to do with the hormonal crash and sleep deprivation I've been experiencing (and even that seems to be abating now).

One thing I miss quite a bit, is feeling the baby move around inside me, especially the little windshield wiper action he used to make in my ribcage with his feet. I loved that that experience was mine and the baby's alone, and I kind of miss having that. There are moments when I feel a physical twinge inside me, and it feels similar to a kick or a tap, but I know it is just my body still returning to normal after all the stretching out, but I find that I have to remind myself of that.

Another thing I miss is all the time Munchie spent hanging out on my belly waiting for the baby to kick. She's starting to act normal again, but for the first week and a half or so she was not interested in any of us, hid a lot, and was not wanting to spend any time on any one's lap, let alone mine. I can't blame her, as it was pretty chaotic around here, but I really missed my cat! She's acting more herself now, and even sitting on us again, so I think everything is returning to normal in that department. Hooray!

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