A Not So Happy "First"

hank 098, originally uploaded by allthingssara.

Poor little Hank had his first set of shots today. Three huge shots -- all vaccinations, and one oral vaccination. I've never heard someone scream in pain like that, and it just broke my heart in pieces, especially because it was my job to hold him down so the nurse could administer the shots properly. He screamed and screamed like I've never heard him scream, he was screaming so hard he turned purple. When it was over I just bundled him up in my arms and cried with him until he felt well enough to get snuggled in the sling. I couldn't wait to get him out of that hospital. We went home where I rocked him all afternoon. When he wasn't sleeping the experience off, he was screaming and crying. By evening he seemed to be back to his regular self, but I could tell that his legs (where the shots were placed) probably were still hurting him, as he wasn't kicking his legs around during diaper changes.

While the vaccination experience was terrible, his appointment with his nice pediatrician was terrific! Dr. Dandekar was really pleased to see how much Hank has grown and told me that we are doing everything right. We talked a bit about breastfeeding and all the trouble I had had, and what we've ended up doing. I was worried he would think I hadn't tried hard enough, but he said that he would have told me to do exactly what I've done, and wants us to just keep doing what we are doing. Hank weighed 13 pounds! He's in the 80th percentile. I was so proud.

Well it is 4:30 a.m., I should really go back to bed as I'm done changing and feeding Hank, but I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. It really made me feel so sad to see Hank is such pain and to know that I was the one who intentionally brought him to that place, knowing it would cause him pain. I mean, he's ok, and I also believe in vaccinating, so I think I did the right thing, but it was really hard to watch and to experience as a mother. When it was over I called Henry and left him a voicemail that pretty much just said "that was horrible. you get to do this next time." Honestly, it was more horrible than I thought it would be. I was one sad mama when it was all said and done. :(

Oh and I had a "first" today too -- I was "other mothered" (this is when another mother gives you unsolicited and offensive mothering advice or opinions). The other mother also had a two month old at the vaccination clinic. Her baby had started out at six pounds and now weighed thirteen. She asked me about Hank's birth weight and current weight, and when I told her she exclaimed "he's only gained THREE POUNDS?? Just THREE POUNDS? Are you sure he is OK? I don't think he is OK!" Uh... yeah... he is OK. "Really, THREE POUNDS isn't enough!" I didn't know what to say. What I wanted to say was 'suck it lady -- my baby is cuter than yours' (he was -- her baby had a teeny head), but as they say if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all...

Hank also got to experience his first car repair yesterday -- my car, overnight I may add, developed the need for all the tires to be replaced IMMEDIATELY. So it was off to the Big O Tire first thing in the morning yesterday. Conveniently it was near my office so we dropped in to say hi to everyone. That was fun. But then it was off to the doctor...

Gotta go back to bed and try to sleep some more.